On Romance

I'm not sure how my contribution will make this gentleman less alone. Perhaps, my comments will be polarizing, pushing the gentleman further into isolation. That said, I'd like to make this monologue a dialogue. Or maybe a monologue in stereo (where available).

Romance as a genre, and including all of its tropes has its roots in courtly love narratives of Medieval French and English Literature. This is not to be confused with Courtney Love narratives which are just plain evil and have no roots in romance at all.

The courtly love narrative depicted relationships outside of marriage usually between a Queen and one of her serving knights. The stories emphasized love in its most ideal form, that was one of the reasons they depicted relationships that were neither consummated nor connected to real life (ie, marriage).

How our understanding of love has been informed by these narratives is evident in our relationships. Culturally men take on the role of the peacock and try to win the affection of their beloved. Like the lowly knight, we understand a relationship as a duty of obedience and loyalty. Of course in its modern form, this is understood to be out of respect. But that wasn't always the case.

If romance is how we understand love than we must admit that love is culturally constructed. There is a missing link between love and marriage. At the time these narratives were written, marriages were more like partnerships. One married to improve their social position. Of course there is no way to verify that no one married for love, marriage as an institution had a purpose other than sanctifying the love of two individuals.

The way love is described in the courtly love narratives is as a sickness, it would be easy to assume that such a depiction of a knight as lovesick, implied that love had no redeeming social value, but the narratives according to historians may have had a social use in sublimating desire and channeling behavior into socially acceptable forms. The love struck knight is often submissive, obedient and loyal.

How does one understand love and romance today? Love is the abstract form of our intentions, emotions and desires. And our beloved is person to which we project all of these things on. But it probably means something slightly different to everyone. Romance seems to be the way we express our love. Ultimately these two terms keep referring endlessly back to one another so you can't get too close to some exact definition.